'Tis the Season to be Emo

There is an Emo Board in my room. What is an Emo Board? Why, it is a bulletin board devoted to the Emo way of life, of course. Duh. It currently hangs above my reluctantly-emo roommate's desk. We're almost done with the semester, and Laura has never put anything on her bulletin board while mine is covered with pictures and whatnot. Then, just this week, Laura printed out a picture she found online and tacked it to her board.



Thus, we have christened her board The Emo Board. We're thinking of adding more pictures to it, but honestly, having more pictures might make it less emo and thus defeat the purpose of having an Emo Board.

If we were to add any more pictures, we would have to add this one:



Cause we have the Emo Christmas Spirit.

Arrested Development

Currently Listening to: Blink-182, "What's My Age Again?"

Sometimes I feel like this is as far as I'm going to go. It's like I know that I'm 21 years old and that I should be mature and I should have at least some idea of what I want to do with my life, but for some reason I'm just not able to take that plunge. I honestly can't imagine choosing just one career, one lifestyle, even one spouse (hey, I'm just saying), for the rest. Of. My. Life.

I have a fear of commitment, I think.

And the thing is, I know without those things I will most likely be a sad and lonely person that people pity. I'm not wired to be a free-spirit, wild-child, Along-Came-Polly type of girl. But at the same time, the idea of conforming just seems like a death sentence.

I don't want to end up 45 years old without any direction or anything to show for my life. But I also don't want to resign myself to one life when there could be something better out there.

Don't mind me. I'm just having an early mid-life crisis. If not that, I'm repeating adolescence. I have to say, I can't decide which is better.

Geez, I'm so emo tonight. Sorry, folks.

Quick flashback to middle school dramatic self.

Currently listening to: Rogue Wave's "Eyes"

Random, selfish, emo thought that came to mind today:

I disappoint myself.

as i lay dying in kensington gardens

Today is my grandmother's 64th birthday. It is also the Olsen Twins' 21st birthday. Go birthdays.

Anyways, today I rode the trolley into town and shopped at the thrift/antique shops. Thought about buying an old copy of "Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens" but opted for William Faulkner's "As I Lay Dying" instead.

I decided something today: I live vicariously through the lives of other people and I hate it.

I'll just leave it at that.

Well, actually, no, I won't. I'll add this: I feel like I'm stuck in limbo. I feel like I'm a 14-year-old girl stuck in the body of a 21-year old who is expected to behave like a 45-year-old woman. I feel incredibly lost and alone. I don't feel old enough or experienced enough to be the actual age that I am, but I also feel like people expect me to be so old. They expect me to think older, look older, dress older...I hate it! I just want to be my age but it's like I can't even tell you what my age is.

What's my age again? ha.

Shoot, here I go all emo-depressing, stressing on this blog. Sorry.