Tonight's the Oscars. I most likely will not be watching, but I might tune in at some point.
Anyways, Radar Online has an awesome feature on Oscar Speeches. Here's mine:
Wow. Oh boy. I wasn't going to prepare a speech, but my Grandmother told me I'd jinx myself if I didn't. So, thanks, Mawmaw!
[Pause. Inhale deeply. Nod to Jack Nicholson.]
I'd like to thank the Academy. I'd like to thank the depressed, sexy, senile actors I was nominated with. Just to be included in a group with you all is an honor. I'd like to thank my manager, Aharon Rosenberg, my agent, Kevin, my stylist, and all the immensely talented people at New Line, Harvey Weinstein, Gaylord Focker, and Dr. Kevorkian.
I'd also like to thank my parents, who supported me through puberty. And Colin Farrell, my one ... true ... love [gaze into audience].
Last, but certainly not least, we all just lost Mel Brooks, a truly insane visionary and fantabulous soul. [Begin tearing.] I'd like us to take a moment to ...
No! Zoinks!! Don't start playing that music, I have 55 more people to go! My editor Catherine M----, my accountant Amy F----, my lawyer Laura B----, and my personal assistant Candice P----, Josh at Hippogriff Pictures. Brad Grey.
When we started this project, Britney Spears was something no one wanted to talk about. Victims of illegal immigrants, this is for you! Thank ...
[Music swells.]
...however, i consider my life worth nothing to me, if only i may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me-the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace... [acts 20:24]
Sunday, February 24, 2008
And the Oscar goes to...
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