1. Epiphany--Why haven't I gone before tonight? So amazing, I only wish I could have stayed for the whole thing. I LOVE MY UNIVERSITY!
2. Invisible Children Benefit Concert--So wonderful! Props to Blindman's Peace. Love those boys.
3. Hanging out downtown at the Mudhouse and Square--So much fun! Even when scary stoned old men offer you a joint and ask you to marry them. Twice. Aiaiaia.
4. The Holiday--is still my current favorite chick-flick...and I'm not even a huge fan of chick-flicks. And this is going to sound crazy, but I would totally choose Jack Black over Jude Law. I think I need my head examined.
5. Spring Fling--is tomorrow. I'm going alone, and I am going as Rory Gilmore, pre-college-slut-stage, aka Gilmore Girls Season 1.
Love to all.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Since I last wrote...
Wow. So much has happened already this week...
Good news first:
Got all my classes for next semester settled. That was a struggle because I'm going to be a senior and I have to get these classes or I'm screwed. But I got everything I needed...and the ones I didn't get, well, it's going to work.
<--um...I fell in love this week...with Tommy Donnelly. Why did I not hear about him sooner?
And we can't forget Henry VIII...no, that would make him angry and we don't want that, now do we?-->
No French classes tomorrow or Friday. Very happy about that.
Epiphany and Invisible Children Benefit concert on Friday...gotta juggle that.
Spring Fling on Saturday.
LOST was wicked sweet tonight and very twisted. My roommate and I so called it within the first 5 minutes, but the ending was deliciously sick and ironically evil. Loved it!
I'm still moving to Spence. I know some people are freaking out about that and wondering how I could ever leave the North Side, but I seriously need a change.
Which leads into the "bad" news:
i'm really frustrated with some girls in my dorm. I hate being the girl that people laugh at or talk about. The weird thing is I don't know what I have done to make these girls upset. First of all, they were my "friends" last year, or at least part of the group I hung out with. Then, this year, it's like I've got the plague. Why can't people get over themselves? Just because I don't worship you doesn't mean that I am less of a person. And you have no business talking about me as if I don't notice.
Plus, girls, I don't know if you know this, but there's a little thing on Facebook called "News Feed." Basically, I can read all of your comments about me to each other on my home page. So thank you for the "encouragement."
The last time people treated me like this I was in middle school.
But, it's okay, i'm leaving this dorm and next year will be living in Spence and I never have to see those witches again unless i want to.
ahhh!
Sorry to unload all that. Just had to vent.
Good news first:
Got all my classes for next semester settled. That was a struggle because I'm going to be a senior and I have to get these classes or I'm screwed. But I got everything I needed...and the ones I didn't get, well, it's going to work.
<--um...I fell in love this week...with Tommy Donnelly. Why did I not hear about him sooner?
No French classes tomorrow or Friday. Very happy about that.
Epiphany and Invisible Children Benefit concert on Friday...gotta juggle that.
Spring Fling on Saturday.
LOST was wicked sweet tonight and very twisted. My roommate and I so called it within the first 5 minutes, but the ending was deliciously sick and ironically evil. Loved it!
I'm still moving to Spence. I know some people are freaking out about that and wondering how I could ever leave the North Side, but I seriously need a change.
Which leads into the "bad" news:
i'm really frustrated with some girls in my dorm. I hate being the girl that people laugh at or talk about. The weird thing is I don't know what I have done to make these girls upset. First of all, they were my "friends" last year, or at least part of the group I hung out with. Then, this year, it's like I've got the plague. Why can't people get over themselves? Just because I don't worship you doesn't mean that I am less of a person. And you have no business talking about me as if I don't notice.
Plus, girls, I don't know if you know this, but there's a little thing on Facebook called "News Feed." Basically, I can read all of your comments about me to each other on my home page. So thank you for the "encouragement."
The last time people treated me like this I was in middle school.
But, it's okay, i'm leaving this dorm and next year will be living in Spence and I never have to see those witches again unless i want to.
ahhh!
Sorry to unload all that. Just had to vent.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Shoot the Wendy-bird!
Wow. This past weekend has been amazing! I spent Friday night and all day Saturday at Collision. Collision was a leadership conference led by students from my university, and it was wonderful. Mind-blowing. Overwhelming. Life-changing. Convicting.
It was incredible, to say the least.
I was so challenged this week. I've taken leadership courses before and I know that I can be a leader when I have to be, but I was convicted just on my personal attitude lately. This past week has been so hard for me. I've had so many things to do, so many responsibilities, and I've run from all of them. I have been so depressed and just plain scared of the things that I have to do. I've been running from choices that I know I have to make just to continue on with my life and I've been a complete baby hiding in the corner.
I'm going to turn 21 in 2 months, 2 days, and 8 hours. That's scary. I feel like I haven't quite finished my adolescence and here I'm going to have my last "fun" birthday, as my roommate would say. Once I'm 21, it's official: I am an adult. But I don't feel like one at all. I feel like I'm 12.
Collision, though, really convicted me about realizing that no matter how hard I try to run from it, I'm going to have to "grow up" eventually. The longer I put it off, the harder its going to be.
And this isn't just talk. Today, I actually got a lot of the things that were freaking me out done. I feel very happy now. :)
--//--
Just wanted to add, Noble (from MSU's Chi Alpha group) spoke on dreaming. Amazing! And I don't mean "dreaming" as in indigestion and REM, but dreaming as in "Woah, what would life be like if I was--oh, I don't know, the first female president of the United States." (That's not my dream. I mean it be cool for a day or two, but ugh, 4 years? at least? no, thank you.) It was so cool to think that God gives us dreams that pertain to our uniqueness and personalities, and then He guides us through the ones He has ordained and creates visions for us to follow through with. And with God on our side, how can we fail?
It was incredible, to say the least.
I was so challenged this week. I've taken leadership courses before and I know that I can be a leader when I have to be, but I was convicted just on my personal attitude lately. This past week has been so hard for me. I've had so many things to do, so many responsibilities, and I've run from all of them. I have been so depressed and just plain scared of the things that I have to do. I've been running from choices that I know I have to make just to continue on with my life and I've been a complete baby hiding in the corner.
I'm going to turn 21 in 2 months, 2 days, and 8 hours. That's scary. I feel like I haven't quite finished my adolescence and here I'm going to have my last "fun" birthday, as my roommate would say. Once I'm 21, it's official: I am an adult. But I don't feel like one at all. I feel like I'm 12.
Collision, though, really convicted me about realizing that no matter how hard I try to run from it, I'm going to have to "grow up" eventually. The longer I put it off, the harder its going to be.
And this isn't just talk. Today, I actually got a lot of the things that were freaking me out done. I feel very happy now. :)
--//--
Just wanted to add, Noble (from MSU's Chi Alpha group) spoke on dreaming. Amazing! And I don't mean "dreaming" as in indigestion and REM, but dreaming as in "Woah, what would life be like if I was--oh, I don't know, the first female president of the United States." (That's not my dream. I mean it be cool for a day or two, but ugh, 4 years? at least? no, thank you.) It was so cool to think that God gives us dreams that pertain to our uniqueness and personalities, and then He guides us through the ones He has ordained and creates visions for us to follow through with. And with God on our side, how can we fail?
Friday, March 23, 2007
How to Eat a Cadbury Caramel Egg
Step 1
This is an intense and wonderful experience that your mouth is about to have. So take a moment to adore and worship.
Step 2
Unwrap the Cadbury Caramel Egg.
Example 1
Worship the Cadbury Caramel Egg.
Step 3
Take the first bite.
Example 2
Sit back and savor the rich creamy chocolate and the sweet taste of gooey caramel.
Step 4
Take the second bite, just a bit bigger than the first.
Example 3
Step 5
Cram the whole thing in your mouth as quickly as you can. Enjoy the taste of pure chocolatey goodness.
Step 6
Mourn the loss of your Cadbury Caramel Egg.
Example 4
Repeat steps as often as desired.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
questions
How can one person ever matter? How can a poor college student ever make a difference? Should she drop everything and devote her life to a cause? Should she wait until she has graduated, until she has a degree? Should she forget it all?
1 Timothy 4:12 says:
"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity."
But my question is, how? How do we get the strength to do what we believe is right? Do we save the world or just ourselves?
1 Timothy 4:12 says:
"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity."
But my question is, how? How do we get the strength to do what we believe is right? Do we save the world or just ourselves?
Brutally Honest
I wrote an entry that I was going to post up here, but I'm not sure if I want to. I was very honest in it, so honest that I scared myself. I think I'm going to hold on to it for a few days and then decide if the internet is ready for me to unload myself onto it.
My entry, though, was based on a conversation I had today about cutting. I am not a cutter, nor was I ever one, but I was pretty darn close. I went to one of my English classes today, my one on John Milton, and we talked about depression. And then today I was reading again the story To Write Love on Her Arms.
I just wanted to say to anyone who has ever struggled with depression, anyone who has ever loathed themselves so much they just wanted to give up, to die--I just wanted to say that--
It's all so cliche. Nothing I say can make things better, but know that you are not alone. I used to think I was, and now I know that there are hundreds, thousands of people just like me.
And I love them all.
My entry, though, was based on a conversation I had today about cutting. I am not a cutter, nor was I ever one, but I was pretty darn close. I went to one of my English classes today, my one on John Milton, and we talked about depression. And then today I was reading again the story To Write Love on Her Arms.
I just wanted to say to anyone who has ever struggled with depression, anyone who has ever loathed themselves so much they just wanted to give up, to die--I just wanted to say that--
It's all so cliche. Nothing I say can make things better, but know that you are not alone. I used to think I was, and now I know that there are hundreds, thousands of people just like me.
And I love them all.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Rainy ol' days
This morning, at exactly 5:50 AM, the world's loudest thunderclap happened right over my dorm. I jumped straight up in bed thinking a bomb had gone off. Sheesh. Our window was open, too, and since I was much too lazy to go and close it, Laura and I got to sleep our last hour listening to the rain and thunder. I even had a dream about it.
I love rain, just not when I have to go to class in it. Like I said yesterday, I had a French test today, and I know I blew it. I'm thinkin' 15% for my name and showing up to class. To top it off, I had "Helena" by My Chemical Romance stuck in my head.
I'm so dead.
That kinda rhymed.
(Ok, I'm a loser. Get over it.)
I have Ecclesiastes/Song of Songs in like 2 hours. I really wish that class was more interesting, but God the professor is soooooooooooooo boring. and monotone. and...just...not good. I didn't even realize until the midterm that we were supposedly learning something. It felt like all we talked about was hermeneutics. And when you've studied hermeneutics since eleventh grade you tend to tune it out when your prof insists on teaching you again.
Christian private universities...Sometimes I don't think it's worth all that money I'm giving for tuition.
I love rain, just not when I have to go to class in it. Like I said yesterday, I had a French test today, and I know I blew it. I'm thinkin' 15% for my name and showing up to class. To top it off, I had "Helena" by My Chemical Romance stuck in my head.
I'm so dead.
That kinda rhymed.
(Ok, I'm a loser. Get over it.)
I have Ecclesiastes/Song of Songs in like 2 hours. I really wish that class was more interesting, but God the professor is soooooooooooooo boring. and monotone. and...just...not good. I didn't even realize until the midterm that we were supposedly learning something. It felt like all we talked about was hermeneutics. And when you've studied hermeneutics since eleventh grade you tend to tune it out when your prof insists on teaching you again.
Christian private universities...Sometimes I don't think it's worth all that money I'm giving for tuition.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Don't Hang Up. Your Call is Important to Us.
I have a French test tomorrow and a paper due Wednesday. A paper over Where the Wild Things Are. You know, the picture book? Explain to me how I am supposed to write 4-6 pages over a picture book? Aiaiai!
My roommate and I are talking about hot guys on commercials. Real mature, I know.
Blah. There really isn't much to talk about today.
So here's just a boring blurb for all you strangers.
---//---
Oh! Oh! So, there's this girl that's working overseas with my parents, and her dad was in town this past weekend, and he wanted to meet me and take me out to dinner but our schedules conflicted. Anywho, he sent me a letter in the mail with $20 worth of coupons to Andy's!!!
That just makes me smile.
---//---
Instructions: In the list of books below:
Bold the ones you’ve read
Italicize the ones you want to read
Mark in RED the ones you won’t touch with a ten-foot pole
Put a cross (+) in front of the ones on your book shelf
Mark an asterisk (*) beside the ones you’ve never heard of
1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)
2. +Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon) I will never read this again. Eww....it was almost porn.
10. *A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. +Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)
12. *Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13. +Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. *A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
16. +Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (Rowling)
17. *Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. *The Stand (Stephen King)
19. +Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Rowling)
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte) Never ever again.
21.+ The Hobbit (Tolkien)
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. *Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams) Everyone says this is good, but I dunno...it just sounds stupid.
27. +Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
28. +The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. *Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks) (ugh!)
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34. 1984 (Orwell)
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. *The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. *The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. *I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. +The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. *The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. *The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. *Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. +Bible
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
50. *She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens) So not a fan of Dickens...I can handle Oliver Twist and A Christmas Carol, but that's it.
53. *Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens) This one is alright.
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. *The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. +Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
58. *The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. *The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. *The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice) Yeah, I know, it's Anne Rice...but I'm curious, ok?
65. *Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
66. *One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. +Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. +The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)
72. *Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. *Shogun (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. +The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. *The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. The World According To Garp (John Irving)
79. *The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)
81. *Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)
83. *Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. *Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. Emma (Jane Austen)
86. *Watership Down (Richard Adams)
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. *The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. *Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. *Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. *In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. Lord of the Flies (Golding)
93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. *The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. *A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. *The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce)
My roommate and I are talking about hot guys on commercials. Real mature, I know.
Blah. There really isn't much to talk about today.
So here's just a boring blurb for all you strangers.
---//---
Oh! Oh! So, there's this girl that's working overseas with my parents, and her dad was in town this past weekend, and he wanted to meet me and take me out to dinner but our schedules conflicted. Anywho, he sent me a letter in the mail with $20 worth of coupons to Andy's!!!
That just makes me smile.
---//---
Instructions: In the list of books below:
Bold the ones you’ve read
Italicize the ones you want to read
Mark in RED the ones you won’t touch with a ten-foot pole
Put a cross (+) in front of the ones on your book shelf
Mark an asterisk (*) beside the ones you’ve never heard of
1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)
2. +Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon) I will never read this again. Eww....it was almost porn.
10. *A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. +Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)
12. *Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13. +Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. *A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
16. +Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (Rowling)
17. *Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. *The Stand (Stephen King)
19. +Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Rowling)
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte) Never ever again.
21.+ The Hobbit (Tolkien)
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. *Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams) Everyone says this is good, but I dunno...it just sounds stupid.
27. +Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
28. +The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. *Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks) (ugh!)
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34. 1984 (Orwell)
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. *The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. *The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. *I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. +The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. *The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. *The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. *Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. +Bible
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
50. *She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens) So not a fan of Dickens...I can handle Oliver Twist and A Christmas Carol, but that's it.
53. *Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens) This one is alright.
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. *The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. +Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
58. *The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. *The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. *The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice) Yeah, I know, it's Anne Rice...but I'm curious, ok?
65. *Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
66. *One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. +Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. +The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)
72. *Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. *Shogun (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. +The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. *The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. The World According To Garp (John Irving)
79. *The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)
81. *Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)
83. *Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. *Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. Emma (Jane Austen)
86. *Watership Down (Richard Adams)
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. *The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. *Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. *Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. *In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. Lord of the Flies (Golding)
93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. *The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. *A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. *The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce)
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Happy in the mean time.
I'm sitting in my dorm room writing this post and I have to say that I am very happy today. I don't know really why. Yesterday, after I had written here, my phone rang. It was my parents who live overseas. The last time I saw them was this past Christmas, but I don't know when I will see them or my siblings again. Most likely next summer after I graduate from college and my sister graduates from high school.
I'm abnormal because I love my family. I'm closer to my parents than to some of my friends. I mean, I have had my whole teenage rebellion, but I wasn't really rebelling against my parents. Those years I was rebelling against something bigger, but that's a whole different blog altogether.
What I'm trying to say is that I am close to my family. Hearing from them yesterday really made me feel a lot better. My parents couldn't talk long because they were on their way to one church, while my sister and brother were going to another church that started later. I was a little scared to talk to my sister because the last few times we've argued, but this time she seemed genuinely glad to talk to me, which made me happy. My brother--oh my god, my brother sounds like a man which is crazy. He sounded almost like my dad. I was shocked at how different his voice is.
When I hung up, I was sad, but not as sad as I had been before. This is life and I've got to get used to it.
I don't have anything philosophical or funny or exciting to share here with this strange void known as the internet. All I have to say is that I'm happy, and I hope you are too.
Have a wonderful day.
xox
I'm abnormal because I love my family. I'm closer to my parents than to some of my friends. I mean, I have had my whole teenage rebellion, but I wasn't really rebelling against my parents. Those years I was rebelling against something bigger, but that's a whole different blog altogether.
What I'm trying to say is that I am close to my family. Hearing from them yesterday really made me feel a lot better. My parents couldn't talk long because they were on their way to one church, while my sister and brother were going to another church that started later. I was a little scared to talk to my sister because the last few times we've argued, but this time she seemed genuinely glad to talk to me, which made me happy. My brother--oh my god, my brother sounds like a man which is crazy. He sounded almost like my dad. I was shocked at how different his voice is.
When I hung up, I was sad, but not as sad as I had been before. This is life and I've got to get used to it.
I don't have anything philosophical or funny or exciting to share here with this strange void known as the internet. All I have to say is that I'm happy, and I hope you are too.
Have a wonderful day.
xox
Saturday, March 17, 2007
The Resolution
I'm staring down this road, this deserted and uncertain road, and I don't know where I am going. When I was little, I used to think that I would be happy to be grown up. I thought that I would go to college, get married, make a few babies, and have a happy life. But I'm thinking that now you can't follow a recipe for life.
I'm a junior in college and I have no idea what I am going to do with my life. I'm single, which I have been for the last [almost] 21 years, and I'm not happy about that. I thought that I would at least be in a relationship now. I've been on a few dates, but all those guys are now married or in serious relationships with other girls. Girls who are my friends. And those dates? Just a long sting of first-dates. I never made seconds.
About two minutes ago I was watching Mona Lisa Smile with my roommate, and maybe that's why I'm writing all this now. I don't want to be "that woman," the woman my grandmother seems to think I am supposed to be. I don't want to be a housewife. Not now. But I do want to know that somewhere down this road there is someone who will get me. Someone who will understand me. Not necessarily "complete me," because I don't think that's possible, but someone who will pull out of me the person that I really am. Someone who can see through my bull and see past it as well.
And who I am really? Just when I think I've found her, I lose my grip and she falls back into the shadows. And I'm scared that I'll fail her.
What do I want to do with my life? I want to write! I want to put pen to paper and create characters that people can relate to. I don't want to preach, but I do want to tell. I want to tell the world how people really are. I want people to find God through my words, without putting them off because of their preconceived notions of Christians.
I want to matter.
I say this all the time, this "Carpe Diem" and "I-want-to-make-a-difference" talk, but I never feel like it happens. I'm not a doer, and that's my problem.
I know it's late for New Year's Resolutions but I don't care. I resolve to become a doer. I resolve to take charge of my life. I resolve not to worry about my vague future, and not to hide behind my poisoned past. I resolve to live.
I'm a junior in college and I have no idea what I am going to do with my life. I'm single, which I have been for the last [almost] 21 years, and I'm not happy about that. I thought that I would at least be in a relationship now. I've been on a few dates, but all those guys are now married or in serious relationships with other girls. Girls who are my friends. And those dates? Just a long sting of first-dates. I never made seconds.
About two minutes ago I was watching Mona Lisa Smile with my roommate, and maybe that's why I'm writing all this now. I don't want to be "that woman," the woman my grandmother seems to think I am supposed to be. I don't want to be a housewife. Not now. But I do want to know that somewhere down this road there is someone who will get me. Someone who will understand me. Not necessarily "complete me," because I don't think that's possible, but someone who will pull out of me the person that I really am. Someone who can see through my bull and see past it as well.
And who I am really? Just when I think I've found her, I lose my grip and she falls back into the shadows. And I'm scared that I'll fail her.
What do I want to do with my life? I want to write! I want to put pen to paper and create characters that people can relate to. I don't want to preach, but I do want to tell. I want to tell the world how people really are. I want people to find God through my words, without putting them off because of their preconceived notions of Christians.
I want to matter.
I say this all the time, this "Carpe Diem" and "I-want-to-make-a-difference" talk, but I never feel like it happens. I'm not a doer, and that's my problem.
I know it's late for New Year's Resolutions but I don't care. I resolve to become a doer. I resolve to take charge of my life. I resolve not to worry about my vague future, and not to hide behind my poisoned past. I resolve to live.
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